2009 ...

AND NOW I AM MOVING FORWARD AND LOOKING FORWARD TO A GREAT 2010. THERE WERE SOME REALLY GOOD MOMENTS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. NOW I AM HOPING THAT THINGS MOVE MORE SMOOTHLY THIS NEW YEAR. THERE IS A LOT ALREADY IN PLACE TO HAPPENING SO IF IT ALL GOES AS PLANNED (I BELIEVE IT WILL I BELIEVE IT WILL ETC...) THEN IT WILL BE AN EXCITING YEAR. I SHOULD BE TYING UP SOME FINANCIAL LOOSE ENDS AND CLEANING UP OUR DEBT, WE ARE LOOKING FOR A HOUSE, WE WILL TRY AGAIN (AND AGAIN AND AGAIN IF NEEDED TO GET ME PREGNANT) I AM GONNA BE OPTIMISTIC AND SAY IT WILL WORK THE VERY NEXT TIME, WE ARE GONNA TAKE A BIG TROPICAL FAMILY VACATION AND MAYBE A FEW ROMANTIC COUPLE ONES, OUR BABIES ARE GONNA BE GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER...SO MUCH IN PLACE TO HAPPEN. ALL GOOD.

SO 2010, LISTEN UP, YOU ARE GONNA BE A BUSY BUT PRODUCTIVE YEAR, YOU ARE GONNA COOPERATE AND NOT GIVE ME ANY SHIT, YOU ARE GONNA PUT 2009 TO SHAME AND GIVE 2011 A RUN FOR ITS MONEY ON BEST YEAR EVER!! YOU HEAR ME, 2010, TOGETHER WE CAN DO THIS!!! THANK YOU.

SHUFFLING THE CARDS IN THE HAND WE'RE DEALT

SO LOTS AND LOTS OF STUFF GOING ON, SOME IN MY CONTROL, MOST NOT. MY SISTER BOUGHT A HOUSE IN AND MOVED TO NEW JERSEY YESTERDAY WITH HER FAMILY. I AM HEART BROKEN. MY NEPHEW IS NOW AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY AND MY SISTER WHO'S HEALTH IS TOUCH AND GO ALL THE TIME IS TOO FAR FROM US ALL IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. I CAN NOT EXPLAIN HOW SAD I AM. I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT FOR THEM BUT I WISH THEY WOULD HAVE STAYED. I HAVE A BAD FEELING. MY MOTHER HAS TAKEN MY SISTER'S MOVE AS HER CUE TO LEAVE MY DAD AND MOVE TO THEIR HOUSE IN FLORIDA. LEAVING HIM BEHIND HERE. THIS WAS A LONG TIME COMING AND IS NOT A SURPRISE BUT I CAN NOT DESCRIBE HOW SAD THAT MAKES ME AS WELL. DON'T KNOW HOW LONG MY DAD CAN HANG ON TO THE APARTMENT WITHOUT HER HELP. SO WE CONTINUE TO LOOK FOR A HOUSE AND HOPE TO FIND ONE WITH A NICE BASEMENT APARTMENT FOR MY DAD.

ON THE BABY FRONT. I HAVE DECIDED AND DAWN AGREES THAT WE ARE GONNA WAIT A BUT LONGER FOR TRY #2. MY WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL RIGHT NOW AND HONESTLY, EVEN IF I DID GET PREGNANT THE CHANCE OF HAVING A HAPPY OR HEALTHY PREGNANCY AT THIS WEIGHT IS SLIM TO NONE. SO COME JANUARY INSTEAD OF TRYING TO GET PREGNANT I AM GONNA START TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. I AM CONFIDENT THAT THIS TIME I CAN DO IT AND KEEP IT OFF. SO WE ARE GONNA GO BACK TO OUR ORIGINAL INTENDED MONTH OF CONCEPTION AND TRY AGAIN IN JULY AFTER VACATION. HOPEFULLY BY THEN THE WEIGHT WILL BE OFF AND WE WILL EITHER BE IN OR GETTING READY TO BE IN OUR OWN HOUSE AND THE BOYS WILL BE GETTING READY TO START HIGH SCHOOL. SO I THINK THIS PLAN PUTS ALL OUR DUCKS IN A NICE ROW. LETS SEE IF IT STAYS THAT WAY.

we are swearing off swine...flu

YOU GUESSED IT...SWINE FLU INVADED OUR HOME FOR THANKSGIVING. IT HIT BOTH OUR BOYS AND AT LEAST HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO PICK UP THE PACE AND MOVE QUICKLY OUT OF OUR HOME. THE BOYS WERE FEELING CRAPPY WEDNESDAY NIGHT BUT LOOKED AND SOUNDED LIKE A COLD. THURSDAY MORNING WOKE UP LOW GRADE FEVERS FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND COUGHS. AFTER DISCUSSING THE SITUATION WITH OUR RESPECTIVE FAMILIES WE WERE CONVINCED BY THEM TO CONTINUE WITH OUR PLANS, COOK OUR FOOD, PACK UP KIDS AND COME ON OVER. AFTER A NIGHT FULL OF FEVERS AND QUICKLY WORSENING FEVERS VERY NEXT DAY BOTH BOYS WENT TO THEIR DOCTOR. DAVID WAS POSITIVE FOR SWINE FLU AND GIVEN TAMIFLU BUT RYAN WAS NEGATIVE AND GIVEN NOTHING. THE DOCTOR SAID HE HAD JUST A COLD BUT NO WORRY THEY DON'T NEED TO BE SEPARATED AS LONG AS THEY ARE NOT COUGHING IN EACH OTHER S FACES. I WAS LEARY OF HIS ADVICE AND READY FOR DAWN TO PACK UP RYAN AND HEAD TO HER MOMS BASEMENT APARTMENT FOR THE DURATION. SHE AGREED WITH DOCTOR AND SHE AND RYAN STAYED HOME. I WAS UP EVERY FEW HOURS TAKING TEMPS AND MEDICATING THE BOYS. RYAN WAS WORSE THAN DAVID DURING THE NIGHT SO I TOLD DAWN SHE SHOULD TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL WHICH SHE DID. HE TESTED POSITIVE FOR STREP AND THE DOCTOR SWORE TO HER THAT SINCE HE TESTED NEGATIVE FOR SWINE THE RESULT WOULD NOT BE DIFFERENT...HE WAS WRONG. RYAN TESTED POSITIVE FOR SWINE AS WELL. DAWN WAS GIVEN A PRESCRIPTION FOR TAMIFLU ONLY BECAUSE SHE KIND OF PRESSURED HIM AND HE TOLD HER AT THIS POINT IT WOULDN'T REALLY HELP SINCE IT HAD BEEN MORE THAN 48HRS SINCE SYMPTOMS BEGAN. WE WERE TOLD TO KEEP THEM HOME FOR ONE WHOLE DAY AFTER THEY HAD BEEN FEVER FREE FOR 24HRS. THE BOYS HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN WITHOUT FEVER SINCE SATURDAY (DAVID) AND SUNDAY (RYAN) BUT THEY ARE STILL HOME WITH COUGHS AND GENERAL BLAHS. THEY ARE GOING BACK TOMORROW. I WILL WHISPER QUIETLY TO YOU ALL SO AS NOT TO JINX US BUT IT LOOKS LIKE DAWN AND I MAY HAVE COME OUT OF THIS UNSCATHED.

SO PIGGIE PIGGIE FLY AWAY WE DON'T WANT YOU TO COME OUR WAY.