Wednesday, December 14, 2011
HERE WE GO AGAIN
SO TOMORROW I START INJECTIONS AGAIN. MOVING UP FROM 150IU TO 225IU. SIX DAYS OF THAT THEN BACK IN TO BE CHECKED. I THINK WE ARE DEFINITELY GONNA JUST DO TWO BACK TO BACK RETRIEVALS THIS TIME AROUND. AFTER THAT WE WILL SEE WHAT WE ARE WORKING WITH AND DO TRANSFERS. WE PICKED A NEW DONOR AND ARE PRETTY HAPPY WITH OUR CHOICE. ITS FUNNY HOW SOMETIMES WE WIND UP BACK WHERE WE STARTED JUST TO GET BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK. HOPEFULLY WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK THE NEXT TIME WE TRANSFER, BUT IF NOT, WHEN THE RESERVES ARE GONE...OUR JOURNEY WILL BE OVER. WITH TWO TEENS GOING TO COLLEGE SOON...WE JUST CAN'T FINANCIALLY DO IT FOR MUCH LONGER. THAT DOESN'T EVEN TAKE INTO ACCOUNT WHAT IT IS DOING EMOTIONALLY.
WE ARE BACK AND FORTH ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT TO DO TRANSFERS AS SOON AS WE CAN OR WAIT A FEW MONTHS AND TRY TO REGROUP AND GET A LITTLE HEALTHIER BEFORE WE DO. THERE ARE A FEW OTHER FACTORS THAT ARE INVOLVED BUT WE ARE GONNA DEAL WITH THE RETRIEVALS AND THEN WORRY ABOUT OUR DECISION ABOUT TRANSFER LATER. ITS FUNNY HOW YOU CAN TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED.
ANYWAY, OUR BOYS ARE DOING WELL. ALL IN ALL THEY ARE PRETTY GOOD KIDS WHO DO NOT GIVE US MUCH TROUBLE. THEY DO WELL IN SCHOOL, BEHAVE AT HOME, HAVE DECENT FRIENDS AND ARE PRETTY LOVING AND RESPONSIBLE. THEY ARE NOT PERFECT, BUT WHO IS. THEY EACH HAVE HAD THEIR SLIP UPS AND MOMENTS OF INSANITY BUT THEIR BIGGEST PROBLEMS ARE RELATIONSHIPS. THEY BOTH HAVE A HABIT OF FALLING FOR THE WRONG GIRL. EITHER SHE IS NUTS OR HER PARENTS ARE NUTS OR A COMBO OF BOTH...BUT BOTH OF OUR KIDS SEEM TO FALL HEAD OVER HEELS AND NOTHING AND NO ONE CAN TELL THEM OTHERWISE. IT COULD BE WORSE, THEY COULD BE THE KIND OF BOYS RUNNING THROUGH GIRLS BACK TO BACK JUST TO GET THE NUMBERS. HOWEVER, THEY ARE BOTH CURRENTLY IN VERY COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS WHICH THEY FEEL WILL LAST FOREVER. THEY HAVE BOTH FOUND "THE ONE" I CRINGE AT THE IDEA AT THIS POINT. THEY BOTH DESERVE BETTER. THEY BOTH GIVE SO MUCH OF THEMSELVES AND GET SO LITTLE IN RETURN. OTHER THAN THAT, NOT MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT WITH THEM. WE ARE LUCKY.
MAYBE WE CAN LUCK OUT A THIRD TIME.
Friday, December 2, 2011
BACK TO START
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
AND THEN THERE WAS ONE
AFTER ALL WAS SAID AND DONE...WE ENDED UP WITH ONE 6DAY BLAST SAFELY FROZEN AND WAITING FOR US. I WAS FEELING CRUSHED ABOUT ONLY GETTING ONE BUT ONE IS ALL IT TAKES SO I AM EMBRACING THE IDEA OF BEING HOPEFUL FOR OUR FET. I HAVE TO GO BACK NEXT MONDAY THE 17TH TO SEE HOW WELL MY LINING IS BUILDING UP ON ITS OWN AND THEN WE WILL GO FROM THERE. HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL BE IT AND WE WILL BE HEARING SOME POSITIVE NEWS. CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC IS HOW I AM GOING TO LABEL MYSELF RIGHT NOW... I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY WIFE WHO DESPITE HER OWN FEARS AND WORRIES HAS HELPED ME BE STRONG AND STEADFAST IN THIS JOURNEY. SHE HAS HELP ME UP ALOT LATELY. I AM NOT THE KIND OF PERSON WHO LIKES TO ADMIT WHEN I NEED HELP BUT HOLY SHIT HAVE I NEEDED IT LATELY. OUR KIDS STILL DON'T KNOW THAT WE ARE TRYING, AND LET ME TELL YOU HOW GLAD I AM THAT THEY HAVEN'T HAD TO GO THROUGH THIS UP AND DOWN BULLSHIT WITH US, SO I HAVE LITERALLY HAD TO GO FROM CRYING HYSTERICALLY TO ACTING LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG. WE ACTUALLY GOT THE CALL ABOUT OUR EMBRYOS WHILE AT THE FOOTBALL GAME OF OUR OLDEST. SECRETLY JABBING NEEDLES IN YOUR STOMACH WHILE IN THE MIDST OF TEENAGE ANGST HAS BEEN AN ADVENTURE TO SAY THE LEAST. SHE HAS JUST BEEN MY ROCK. SHE HAS PUSHED ME WHEN I WAS READY TO GIVE UP AND COMFORTED ME WHEN I FELT LIKE I WAS FAILING US. SHE HAS BEEN A GREAT MOM TO THE BOYS WE HAVE AND I KNOW SHE WILL BE JUST AS PHENOMENAL IF NOT MORE SO THIS TIME AROUND. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU GET TO MAKE ALL THE MISTAKES THE FIRST TIME AROUND (INSIDE JOKE). SO THAT'S WHERE WE ARE AND THAT'S WHERE WE ARE GOING. HOPEFULLY, WE WILL SEE YOU ALL THERE.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT 1...2...3
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT...RIGHT?
Monday, March 7, 2011
NEW PLAN...WE ARE ALL IN
WE ARE BYPASSING ANYMORE IUIs AND DOING IVF...OR RATHER MINI-IVF. WE FOUND A REALLY GREAT PLACE HERE IN NYC CALLED N*EW HO*PE FERT*ILITY AND AFTER TESTING AND CONSULT WITH THE DOCTOR...WE DECIDED TO GO THE ROUTE OF IVF. THIS PARTICULAR PLACE SPECIALIZES IN MINI-IVFs. BASICALLY THAT JUST MEANS THAT THERE IS USE OF LESS MEDS AND THE OBJECTIVE IS QUALITY NOT QUANTITY OF EGGS PRODUCED. THEY PREFER S.E.T. (SINGLE EMBRYO TRANSFER) WHICH IS REALLY WHAT WE WAN. WITH TWO TEENS AND BOTH OF US BEING ON THE OLDER SIDE...TWINS WHILE WONDERFUL, ARE SOMETHING WE WOULD LIKE TO AVOID IF AT ALL POSSIBLE. IN MY CASE, WHILE MY FOLLICLE COUNT WAS LOW, (6 ON EACH SIDE) HE SAID IT WAS NOT SO LOW THAT I SHOULD BE IN A PANIC ... HOWEVER, BECAUSE I WILL BE HITTING THAT NOT SO MAGIC NUMBER 35 THIS REALLY IS GONNA BE THE LAST SHOT BEFORE I START HITTING SOME POTENTIAL PROBLEMS. WE STARTED BY HIM ASKING US TO TELL HIM WHAT IT IS WE WANTED SO THAT WE COULD FIGURE OUT TOGETHER HOW TO GET IT. SO, WE DISCUSSED OUR DESIRES AND CAME UP WITH A PLAN. HE SAID THAT BECAUSE MY FOLLICLES WERE NOT THAT BAD AND THAT I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE...HE WOULD BE COMFORTABLE WITH SUGGESTING 3 MONTHS OF IUIs FIRST. HE SAID THE CHANCES WERE I WOULD PROBABLY WIND UP DOING IVF ANYWAY. OUR WISHES ARE A LITTLE SPECIFIC SO WE DECIDED TO JUST GO FOR THE IVF OFF THE BAT. HE SAID GIVEN THE TIME FRAME WE ARE USING I NEED TO LOSE AT LEAST 35LBS FIRST. WHICH IS MUCH MORE ATTAINABLE THEN THE NUMBERS I HAVE HEARD BEFORE. SO DIETING AND EXERCISING HAVE BECOME PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINES AS WELL AS PRENATALS. WE ALSO DISCUSSED THE PROTOCOL WE WOULD HAVE AND THEN OFF TO OUR NON FAVORITE PART...THE FINANCIAL CONSULTANT. THEIR PRICES WERE SURPRISINGLY REASONABLE WHEN COMPARED TO THE OTHER PLACES WE LOOKED AT AND LUCKILY MY INSURANCES WILL COVER MOST OF IT. SO WHILE WE ARE LOOKING AT A FEW THOUSAND OUT OF POCKET...IT IS AFFORDABLE. I WON'T GET INTO THE SPECIFICS OF WHAT WE ARE DOING JUST BECAUSE IT MAY CHANGE ALONG THE WAY...BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE MOVING IN A PRETTY GOOD DIRECTION AND WE ARE IN A GOOD PLACE RIGHT NOW. HERE IS HOPING.