A LITTLE PIECE OF ME

NO MORE RETRIEVALS FOR US. I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE PIECE OF MY HEART WAS TAKEN EACH TIME WE WENT THROUGH A CYCLE. WE WERE GONNA DO MORE BUT I AM MISSING TOO MANY PIECES RIGHT NOW TO CONTINUE - I JUST DON'T HAVE THE HEART FOR IT. SO AS IT STANDS WE HAVE A DOZEN FROZEN EMBRYOS. 11 DAY 3s AND 1 BLAST. HOPEFULLY WE WILL FIND OUR LITTLE MIRACLE IN THERE SOMEWHERE. WE ARE PUTTING OFF TRANSFER UNTIL JULY FOR A COUPLE OF DIFFERENT REASONS. THE BREAK WILL BE GOOD. MY HEART AND MY BODY NEED IT.

THIS LAST RETRIEVAL WAS SUPER HARSH. I HAD 10 FOLLICLES, THEY RETRIEVED 6 EGGS, 2 OF WHICH THEY HAD TO PUNCTURE MY BLADDER TO REACH, OUT OF THOSE 6, 4 DEGENERATED SO WE ENDED UP WITH 2 (8cell) EMBIES. THIS TIME AROUND LEFT ME GUTTED AND IN A LOT OF PAIN. I WAS ASKED IF I WANTED TO DO ANOTHER CYCLE AND A PART OF ME WANTED TO BEFORE I EVEN KNEW WE WERE GOING TO LOSE 4 OUT OF 6...BUT THE WORD NO JUMPED STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART AND OUT OF MY MOUTH. I JUST COULDN'T SAY YES. A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER AND KNOWING WE LOST 2/3 OF WHAT THEY RETRIEVED I AM SADDER BUT NO MORE INCLINED TO SAY YES. I THINK MY MIND HEART AND BODY HAVE GOTTEN TOGETHER AND DECIDED ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND (AT LEAST FOR NOW) WE ARE DONE WITH THIS PART OF OUR JOURNEY AND READY TO REST, REGROUP AND MOVE FORWARD.