IN THE (ALMOST) 2WW

SO ON MONDAY, JULY 23, 2012 WE HAD OUR FET. (SEE THAT LIL WHITE DOT LEFT OF THE CENTER OF THE PIC? YUP, THAT'S IT!!! MOST BEAUTIFUL DOT IN THE WORLD, I KNOW)  RIGHT NOW OUR LIL EMBRYO IS SAFE AND SECURE AND HOPEFULLY PROGRESSING THE WAY IT SHOULD IN MY TUMMY. OK, UTERUS, BUT TUMMY SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER. OUR FIRST BETA IS THURSDAY, AUGUST 2ND. NOT QUITE A FULL TWW BUT MORE THAN LAST TIME. MY LOVABLE AND SUPER EXCITED WIFE IS DRIVING ME BONKERS. SHE IS ALREADY SCHEMING TO GET ME TO POAS ASAP. SHE MAY HAVE EVEN THREATENED TO TICKLE THE PEE RIGHT OUT OF ME IF I AM UNCOOPERATIVE. I WOULD LIKE TO WAIT TILL THE BETA, MAYBE EVEN GIVE IN TO THE DAY BEFORE BUT IF IT WERE UP TO HER I WOULD HAVE BEEN PEEING ALREADY.


***DISCLAIMER -  SHE GAVE ME PERMISSION TO WRITE ALL OF THIS, SO PLEASE DO NOT FEAR FOR MY SAFETY. LOL. 


I UNDERSTAND HER EXCITEMENT BUT I AM TRYING TO JUST TAKE IT DAY BY DAY AND NOT GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED YET. I AM BRACING MYSELF JUST IN CASE. IT HELPS TO KNOW THAT WE DO HAVE 4 VIABLE FROSTIES JUST IN CASE. I AM HOPING THAT WE WON'T EVER NEED THEM BUT I LOVE THAT WE HAVE A BACKUP PLAN THIS TIME SINCE LAST TIME WE FLEW WITHOUT A NET.


PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR "SYMPTOMS".  BE FOREWARNED, SINCE BEFORE OVULATION AND CONTINUING FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG, I AM ON PROGESTERONE SUPPOSITORIES 2X A DAY AND ESTRACE 1X A DAY, SO IT MAY JUST BE FROM THE MEDS. BUT I WILL GIVE IT A SHOT.


SO LET'S SEE... SINCE THE FET I HAVE HAD SOME SLIGHT TO MEDIUM CRAMPING ON AND OFF. A LITTLE BROWNISH DISCHARGE (SORRY TMI) AND TODAY A FEW MOMENTS OF HARDCORE NAUSEA WHEN I SMELLED A FAMILIAR (THOUGH UNPLEASANT) PERFUME ON A CO-WORKER. I USUALLY HATE IT BUT TODAY IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS GONNA VOMIT. SINCE THE MEDS STARTED I HAVE BEEN FEELING BLOATED AND GASSY (AGAIN TMI) AND NOW SINCE THE FET I AM ALSO FEELING FULL REAL QUICK EVEN WHEN I AM HUNGRY. 


THIS TIME UNTIL THE 2ND IS GONNA BE TORTUROUS. I HOPE I CAN HOLD OUT ON THE POAS. IN THE MEANTIME I AM GONNA HAVE TO MAKE SURE MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE DOESN'T MAKE ME SEDATE HER TILL THEN. FINGERS CROSSED PEOPLE PLEASE!!! 

TAKE TWO

SO ITS BACK TO THE DOCTOR WE GO. I CALLED TO MAKE MY DAY 10 APPOINTMENT FOR WHAT IS TO BE OUR 2ND AND HOPEFULLY LAST NEEDED FET CYCLE. WE GO IN THIS SUNDAY THE 8TH FOR PAPERWORK AND MONITORING. SO IF ALL GOES WELL...SOMETIME MIDDLE TO END OF THIS MONTH OUR LITTLE MIRACLE COULD BE GROWING SAFE AND SOUND IN MY BELLY. FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED. 


...I READ THAT BACK AND IT SOUNDED SO CALM AND COLLECTED. I ACTUALLY DO NOT FEEL EITHER. I AM PRETTY MUCH A FRIGGIN WRECK. I AM SUPER EXCITED AND SUPER SCARED. I ALMOST WANTED TO PUT IT OFF BECAUSE I AM SO SCARED OF IT NOT WORKING EVEN THOUGH NOT TRYING CLEARLY ISN'T GOING TO BE WORKING EITHER. THERE IS JUST A MYRIAD OF EMOTIONS I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW. THIS BY THE WAY DOES NOT BODE WELL FOR MY ANXIETY ISSUES. I AM TRYING MY BEST TO STAY CALM AND RELAXED. I KNOW THAT STARTING THIS WAY CAN NOT POSSIBLY MAKE ANYTHING EASIER IN THE LONG RUN. MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE IS TRYING HER BEST TO BE SOOTHING AND CALM ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US AND WHILE I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR IT...IT ALSO MAKES ME A LITTLE MAD THAT IT SEEMS SO EASY FOR HER TO JUST LET IT GO AND LET IT BE WHATEVER IT WILL BE. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM NOT MAD AT HER...JUST MAD THAT I CAN'T BE LIKE HER. I ENVY THE ABILITY TO JUST ACCEPT THAT SOME THINGS ARE OUT OF MY HANDS AND WORRYING ABOUT THEM WON'T CHANGE THE OUTCOME. HORRIBLE. I KNOW. BUT...I AM ALSO HAPPY FOR HER THAT SHE ISN'T BURDENED WITH THE ENORMOUS WEIGHT THAT ANXIETY PUTS ON A PERSON'S SHOULDERS. I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE I AM BEING CRUSHED UNDERNEATH IT ON THE BAD DAYS. THOUGH, THANKFULLY, I HAVEN'T HAD DAYS THAT BAD RECENTLY (OR FREQUENTLY). THAT BEING SAID, I GUESS I AM DOING BETTER THAN I THOUGHT BUT NOT AS WELL AS I HAD HOPED. 


SO IN THE MEANTIME I WILL LEAVE YOU AND MYSELF WITH THIS....