7 week update

PROUD MAMAS OF THE BABY BUG

OUR LIL BABY BUG

SO TODAY WE WENT IN FOR OUR FIRST "OFFICIAL" SONO AND IT WENT PERFECT! WE ARE OFFICIALLY 7wks TODAY AND THE LIL BUG IS A WHOPPING 9.51 mm BIG. LOL. WE SAW THE HEARTBEAT AND EVEN BETTER...WE GOT TO HEAR IT! IT WAS A STRONG AND STEADY 139 bpm. I FORGOT HOW AMAZING THAT SOUND IS. (CONSIDERING THAT THIS THURSDAY MY DAVID WILL BE 17yrs OLD, TO SAY IT HAS BEEN A WHILE IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT.) TEARS JUST STARTED RUNNING DOWN MY FACE. IT WAS STILL SO SURREAL. THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE I FEEL PREGNANT AND THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE I ALMOST FORGET I AM. TODAY, WITH MY WIFE RIGHT BY MY SIDE, HEARING OUR BABY'S HEART BEAT, THE FACT THAT WE ARE HAVING A BABY FINALLY HIT ME HARD. I AM STILL ANXIOUS AND SCARED AND WAITING FOR THE PROVERBIAL OTHER SHOE...BUT I AM DETERMINED TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF THIS TO ITS FULLEST. OF COURSE TELLING PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY THE KIDS, MAY OR MAY NOT HELP WITH THAT.  I AM IN NO RUSH TO FIND OUT WHICH IT WILL BE, THOUGH MY DARLING DAWN IS GOING BANANAS WITH IMPATIENCE.  I AM HOPING FOR A FEW MORE WEEKS OF SELFISHNESS, ENJOYING OUR LITTLE SECRET, ENJOYING THE PEACE OF IT ALL WITH OUT ALL THE QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS AND OPINIONS...I AM GONNA MISS THAT. WE WILL SEE HOW LONG WE CAN HOLD OUT. 

Our Christmas Eve Joy

introducing our little bug

WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT FOR MORE BLOOD WORK ON CHRISTMAS EVE MORNING. MY DARLING WIFE WAS HELLBENT ON ASKING FOR A SONO EVEN THOUGH OUR DOCTORS DON'T DO ONE UNTIL 7 WKS AND I WAS 6. I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANY SHAVING BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED SHE WOULD BE TOLD TO GO SCRATCH. WELL, ME OF LITTLE FAITH WAS WRONG. WE NOT ONLY GOT TO SEE THE LITTLE BLOB THAT IS OUR BABY BUG...WE ALSO GOT TO SEE HER HEARTBEAT. SHE WAS MEASURING AT  5WKS 6 DAYS AND HER HEARTBEAT WAS STEADY. WE SAW THE OTHER STUFF TOO LIKE THE GESTATIONAL SAC AND THE YOLK SAC BUT NOTHING BEAT SEEING THE HEARTBEAT (PUN INTENDED). THE DOCTOR SAID THE HEARTBEAT WAS A LITTLE SLOW BUT THAT THE SONO WAS REALLY EARLY SO NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE BY THE NEXT ONE, THIS MONDAY THE 31ST, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE MUCH MORE AND THE HEARTBEAT WILL BE A LOT FASTER. WE STILL HAVEN'T TOLD THE KIDS, I REALLY WANT TO WAIT, BUT WE DID EACH GET TO PICK ONE TRUSTWORTHY PERSON. I GOT TO TELL MY SISTER AND SHE GOT TO TELL HER MOM. NOW MY SUPERSTITIOUS BUTT IS JUST HOPING AD PRAYING THAT I HAVEN'T JINXED ANYTHING AND ALL CONTINUES TO GO WELL.

MIRACLES

I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. THAT'S TO SAY...I PRAYED FOR THEM ALL THE TIME...BUT I NEVER REALLY BELIEVED IN THEM...UNTIL NOW. FIRST OFF, WE ARE STILL PREGNANT WITH OUR LITTLE MIRACLE. THERE IS AN ACTUAL BABY IN THERE AFTER ALL THIS TIME. HOLY CRAP. WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN A CHANCE TO SEE OUR LITTLE BUG YET BUT OUR NUMBERS ARE STRONG AND STEADY AND MORE THAN DOUBLING (our 4th beta was 3822) SO WE ARE BREATHING STEADY. WE GO BACK ON MONDAY, CHRISTMAS EVE, FOR ANOTHER SET OF NUMBERS AND THEN THE FOLLOWING WEEK WOULD BE OUR FIRST SONO. THIS FERTILITY CENTER HAS YOU DO BLOOD ONLY UNTIL 7 WEEKS THEN DOES SONOS AND BLOOD UNTIL 9 WEEKS AND THEN RELEASES YOU OUT INTO THE WORLD TO SEEK YOUR OWN FORTUNE WITH AN OB. I AM PRETTY CERTAIN THAT DUE TO MY AGE, WEIGHT AND FAMILY HISTORY OF DIABETES I WILL BE CONSIDERED HIGH RISK AND SENT TO A SPECIALIST AS WELL AS A REGULAR OB - BUT THAT IS FINE - THE MORE PEOPLE LOOKING AFTER OUR BUG, THE BETTER. ANYHOW, DAWN WILL MOST DEFINITELY BE TRYING TO CON HER WAY INTO A SONO FOR ME THIS MONDAY ANYWAY. SHE REALLY WANTS A PICTURE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I AM NOT HOLDING MY BREATHE. LOL.

IN NON BABY RELATED BUT TOTALLY MIRACLE RELATED NEWS... LAST FRIDAY, A WEEK FROM WHEN WE GOT OUR BFP - MY DAD HAD A HEART ATTACK. HE IS OK NOW. BUT IT WAS A MIRACLE THAT HE IS STILL WITH US. THERE WERE NO WARNINGS AND IT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT HE IS STILL WITH US. I LOVE THAT MAN MORE THAN I COULD PUT IN WORDS. 

I WANT TO COMMENT ON THE TRAGEDY THAT HAPPENED IN CT, I HEARD ABOUT IT WHILE I WAS BEDSIDE TO MY DAD WAITING FOR HIS SURGERY...BUT I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS. I AM HEART BROKEN FOR THOSE FAMILIES AND FOR ALL OF US. IT IS A SAD WORLD WE LIVE IN WHEN PEOPLE CAN BE SO CRUEL AND DO SUCH HEINOUS THINGS. I CAN NOT IMAGINE A DAY WITHOUT MY CHILDREN, LET ALONE THE REST OF MY LIFE. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I AM MOURNING FOR THE LOSS OF THESE PEOPLE AND HOLDING MY CHILDREN A LITTLE CLOSER AND A LITTLE LONGER. EACH ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WAS A MIRACLE TO THEIR FAMILIES EACH ONE OF THOSE SOULS TOUCHED SOMEONES LIFE AND MADE A DIFFERENCE. BUT EVEN MIRACLES HAVE THEIR LIMITS. I HOPE THEY ARE ALL IN A BETTER PLACE AND AT PEACE. 

shock without the dismay

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

me and my beautiful wife, Dawn, kind of in shock but soooo happy!!

THESE PICS WERE TAKEN AFTER WE FOUND OUT ON FRIDAY WHEN THEY CALLED WITH OUR FIRST BETA WHICH WAS 74 - OUR SECOND BETA WAS SUNDAY (41.5 HRS LATER) AND THAT WAS 127. MY ESTROGEN AND PROGESTERONE ARE BOTH GOOD AS WELL. I AM STILL ON THE PROMETRIUM AND ESTRACE FOR SEVERAL MORE WEEKS. I GO IN FOR BLOOD ONLY UNTIL 7 WEEKS AND THEN THE SONOS START. 

I AM FEELING A LITTLE NUMB BUT SO VERY HAPPY. IT TOOK AWHILE AND I KNOW IT IS STILL EARLY BUT WE ARE SO THRILLED THAT WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A BABY TOGETHER. I MEAN WE HAVE BEEN RAISING OUR BOYS TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 14 YRS AND THEY ARE BOTH OURS REGARDLESS OF WHEN THEY CAME INTO ONE ANOTHER S LIVES...BUT I HAVE WANTED THIS SINCE WE WERE TOGETHER ONLY A FEW MONTHS. WE HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE YET, INCLUDING THE KIDS, WHO OF COURSE WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. WE ARE IN A LITTLE BIT OF DISAGREEMENT ABOUT WHEN TO TELL PEOPLE. IDEALLY I WOULD LIKE TO WAIT UNTIL WE ARE OUT OF THE FIRST TRIMESTER, SHE WOULD LIKE TO TELL PEOPLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. LOL.  I WOULD LIKE TO COMPROMISE TO WAIT TILL I AM OUT OF THE RE AND INTO A REGULAR OB AND GET THE ALL CLEAR. OUR PLACE GRADUATES YOU AT 9 WEEKS. WE ARE OFFICIALLY CONSIDERED 4 WEEKS. WE WILL SEE HOW IT GOES.

AS FAR AS SYMPTOMS,  I AM STILL HAVING SOME CRAMPING ON AND OFF AND YESTERDAY AND THIS MORNING A LITTLE LIGHT PINK/BROWN SPOTTING ON AND OFF. THE NURSE SAID THAT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL SO I AM GOING TO TONE DOWN THE WORRY AND JUST GO WITH IT. MY BBS STILL HURT AND ARE GETTING A LITTLE BIT FULLER, I AM STILL NAUSEOUS WHEN I AM HUNGRY AND KIND OF TIRED BUT NOT TOO BAD. 


I AM SO GRATEFUL AND HAPPY. I ALSO AM NOT TAKING A MOMENT OF THIS FOR GRANTED. I AM STILL HOPING THAT EVERYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING GETS THEIR BFP TOO.  I AM JUST SO THANKFUL FOR THIS CHANCE!

*** UPDATE - DUE TO THE CRAMPING AND SPOTTING CONTINUING I HAD TO GO IN TODAY FOR MORE BLOOD WORK  WHILE I WAS THERE I EXPRESSED MY GROWING CONCERN (DAMN NEAR PANIC ATTACK) TO MY FAVORITE NURSE, NONA, AND SHE PUSHED ME IN FOR A SONO. THE DOCTOR WHO I AM NOT IN THE LEAST BIT FOND OF CAME IN AND INFORMED ME THAT THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SEE "THE PREGNANCY" THIS SOON BUT THEY WERE GOING TO CHECK MY CERVIX AND LINING AND TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY BLEEDS. ALL LOOKED GOOD. CERVIX CLOSED. LINING THICK. NO PUDDLES OF FLUID. I WENT IN TO WORK HOLDING MY BREATHE FOR THE CALL. WHEN I GOT IT I WAS SO RELIEVED THAT OUR NUMBERS HAVE CONTINUED DOUBLING. RESULTS FOR BETA #3 HCG 296, ESTROIDOL 375 AND PROGESTERONE 38. ALL IN ALL IT SEEMS LIKE OUR LIL BUG IS NICE AND SNUG AND JUST CAUSING A RUCKUS. I HAVE TO TAKE IT EASY FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND GO BACK ON MONDAY, BUT OTHER THAN THAT EVERYTHING LOOKS AS IF ITS COMING ALONG JUST FINE.    

trying my damndest

TOMORROW IS THE DAY...OPT (OFFICIAL PREGNANCY TEST) I AM FREAKING OUT. I HONESTLY HAVE FELT LIKE THIS IS IT FROM MOMENT ONE AND NOW THAT I AM ON THE BRINK OF FINDING OUT FOR SURE I AM STARTING TO HAVE DOUBTS. I AM NOT DOUBTING BECAUSE ANYTHING FEELS DIFFERENT. I THINK IT IS JUST REFLEXIVE OF THE LAST 3 TIMES. 

LAST TIME I FOUND OUT WHEN I WAS AT WORK AND DAWN WAS AT HERS AND HAD TO LEAVE WORK BECAUSE I WAS HYSTERICAL TO THE POINT WHERE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO VOMIT, PASS OUT OR BOTH. THIS TIME I AM OPTING FOR A DIFFERENT ROUTE. I AM GOING TO GET THE BLOOD WORK DONE IN THE AFTERNOON AND THEN HEAD STRAIGHT HOME. HOPEFULLY IT WILL BE TO CELEBRATE. IF NOT IT WILL BE TO CRAWL INTO BED< CURL UP AND CRY. IF IT IS BAD NEWS I SAVE MYSELF THE HORROR OF BEING AT WORK AND ALONE AND  I ALSO GET TO SAVE HER THE HORROR OF HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ME BEING SO FAR AND SO UPSET. I HAVE TO ADMIT I WAS NOT SOUNDING RATIONAL...I WAS KIND OF SCARING MYSELF. 

THAT PLAN ASIDE I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO REMAIN POSITIVE AND HAVE TRULY BEEN TRYING TO EMBRACE THE WHOLE PUPO (PREGNANT UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE) THING. I HAVE BEEN DOING THE OLD "SYMPTOM" CHECKING (JUST OCCASIONALLY) BUT NO POAS. I KNOW THAT HAS BEEN SO HARD ON MY WIFE BUT SHE HELD OUT EVEN SUGGESTING IT UNTIL LAST NIGHT. SHE STOPPED WHEN I REMINDED HER SHE PROMISED. I HOPE SHE MAKES IT UNTIL TOMORROW. 

***DISCLAIMER*** THE FOLLOWING WILL BE "SYMPTOM" TALK BUT KEEP IN MIND I HAVE BEEN ON ESTRACE AND PROMETRIUM SINCE 11/26/12 SO ANY AND OR ALL OF THEM MAY BE MEDS RELATED (THOUGH I AM HOPING IT IS ALL BABY RELATED INSTEAD)

TODAY (@4PM) IS 6DP5DT) THIS IS WHAT I HAVE FELT SO FAR STARTING AROUND 3DP5DT :

• I HAVE BEEN STARVING TO THE POINT OF NAUSEA.  PROTEIN MAKES ME FEEL BETTER - MEAT, NUTS, CHEESE ETC...
• I HAVE BEEN HAVING CRAMPY/PULLING PAINS IN MY LOWER REGIONS
• I HAVE HAD SUPER SORE BBS. THEY ARE SORE ALL THE TIME BUT THEY HURT LIKE HELL WHEN THE BRA COMES OFF I AM EXHAUSTED (THOUGH MORE OFTEN THAN NOT I AM TIRED ANYWAY) 
• TMI ALERT - WHEN PUTTING IN THE PROMETRIUM I NOTICED MY INSIDES ARE KIND OF PUFFY. 
• TMI ALERT - THE LAST 2 DAYS I HAVE BEEN HAVING AN INCREASE IN CM
• I HAVE BEEN HAVING SOME TROUBLE ORGANIZING MY THOUGHTS 

SO THAT IS THAT IN A NUTSHELL UNLESS OF COURSE I AM FORGETTING SOMETHING...WISH US LUCK AND LOTS OF BABY DUST!! 

THE SHORTEST TWW EVER

IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE MY TWWs ARE JUST GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. FET WAS ON FRIDAY 11/30 AND OPT (OFFICIAL PREGNANCY TEST) IS FRIDAY 12/7 - LAST I CHECKED THAT IS ONLY ONE WEEK. I AM SO CONFUSED. 

**QUICK FET RECAP - NEVER A DULL MOMENT - WAITED 2 HOURS FOR TRANSFER (I REFUSE TO GET MYSELF UPSET BY DETAILING WHAT OCCURRED RIGHT BEFORE MY TRANSFER WAS FINALLY DONE)  AND THEN AS PER THE DOCTOR IT WAS "DIFFICULT" BECAUSE I AM CURVY INSIDE AND THE CATHETER IS NOT. WTF! AFTER ALL WAS SAID AND DONE IT WOUND UP BEING  A (ALMOST) COMPLETELY HATCHED BLAST AND IS NOW SITUATED IN MY UTERUS -  HOPEFULLY ALL SNUGGLED UP AND HOLDING ON TIGHT FOR THE NEXT 9 MONTHS. I GUESS WE WILL FIND OUT FRIDAY.

***PIC UPDATE*** (didn' t have them with me the other day)

our almost completely hatched blast - perfect if you ask me

all snuggled in after much prodding and poking - left of center towards the bottom - it is what looks like 3 stacked lil white dots - only 1 embie but it was trailing the shell so it looks stacked (do you notice my extra curvy insides?)