Alot learned and alot remembered

So... we survived (thanks for asking, Kim) For the most part things went very well. Sadly, my nephew suffers from night terrors, they usually only last 10-20 minutes, but after a long day of fun, settling down in an unfamiliar place for the night proved to be hard. The first night was realllllly rough for all of us. He cried hysterically for almost two hours straight. There was nothing Dawn or I could do or say to console him. He sleeps in the bed with my sister at home, and his favorite nap spot is on a pile of pillows in front of the (purely for decoration) fireplace. I went to our living room, made a mock nap spot and layed with him. NOTHING. Dawn tried to help but her voice, being completely from my sisters and mine seemed to almost make it worse, coupled with the fact that the next morning we were on an early drive to PA - I told her to go to bed since she had to be rested to drive. So it was just me and the piglet. Anybody who knows about night terrors knows that for the most part the child is usually asleep while they occur, even if their eyes are open, you are not suppossed to wake them and there is not much you can do except ride it out. So we did - he and I both cried and cuddled and clung to eachother until the worst was over. Funny enough, this is not the first time I have dealt with night terrors, David had them from the ages of 2-5 and he still sleep walks sometimes. My dad also suffered from them and sleepwalking when he was a child. Apparently, this is hereditary. The piglet seems to have gotten them full blast early on - hopefully he will outgrow them.

So... knowing that nights were gonna stress him so bad my dad and I worked out a system after that first night (Saturday) I kept him all day Sunday till 10pm, then he came and got him and took him to my sister's house where he would at least be somewhere familiar, I stayed home from work Monday and kept him from noon till 10pm when my dad took him again and Tuesday I took him from 5pm when I got home from work until my sis got home @ 8 pm. It seemed to work. He had a few episodes at his house but they were ALOT shorter and less traumatizing then the one he had at my house. There was so much I had forgotten about dealing with a baby - I had my moments of tears and asking Dawn how we can possibly do this all over again?!? but we made it through it and when it was over, we missed him terribly and our home didn't feel the same without him. By the end of Tuesday I came to the conclusion that I think we'll be ok.

This Friday - Sunday we went to family camp for the fourth year in a row. It is held in Newton, New Jersey at the Fairview Lake YMCA campground. It is amazing, the people are fantastic and we always have great fun. Ryan hit a bullseye at archery for the first time and David got training so he can run some activities on his own next year. He can't wait to be old enough to apply as a counselor. At 16 he can take a course and at 17 he can work. All in all the last week or so went very well.

AND THEN... The weekend hit a rough patch yesterday. Dawn and I had a really bad fight. As usual it involved the kids and our differences in parenting. I said some things I really started to regret as the worda came out of my mouth and I hope we can get past them. It seems like everytime we take two steps forward we take a huge one back. There are so many things we disagree on when it comes to the kids, I hope that we agree on enough of them to not fuck this all up. I love her with all of my heart and I want this all to work, but I always feel torn between her and David. I don't know how to get past that. I don't think it should ever come down to choosing between your child and your partner, but I can honestly say that most times it feels like that is exactly what they want me to do. Maybe it isn't, maybe it's just me, maybe I have my own issues I need to work out before I can expect anyone else to work on theirs, but I don't think either one of them wants to admit their part in the problem. I feel broken inside.