Monday, March 31, 2008


This is Dirk. This is Dirk in his toy box. What you don't see is the entire room covered in toys after Dirk climbed in the box and pulled all the toys out. The face is because his mom just caught him. What you don't hear is me laughing my butt off as I see this pic for the first time.

This is Ethan. Ethan was just screaming his head off because he is tired but doesn't want to go to bed... can you blame him... he is now firmly in the grip of his Aunt Dawn. Ethan lives in Pennsylvania and we hardly ever get to see him so Dawn believes he should never sleep when we are around. I am sure his parents were thrilled when we left because even though they love us and would love to see us more often, we totally screw up his schedule when we are around. What are Aunts for ?? He is the cutest lil' thumbsucker I have ever seen.

So, as you well know, Dirk likes to sit in things. This was his Easter basket it is now his personal butt basket. Never mind that he has a brand new, very expensive, very cushy recliner that his mommy and daddy bought him for his birthday (that he stands on) his butt prefers the comfort of the wicker basket.

Baby Recliner $100
Wicker basket $13
Cost of seeing the look on my sister's face when she realizes she should have listened to me and held off on the expensive recliner she bought for the baby's 1st birthday... PRICELESS

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

a pic is worth a thousand words...or one...LOVE

Just wanted to share this pic of our nephew, Dirk (my sis' baby) who just turned 1 and his dog. This is one of the reasons I can't wait to have another baby.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bitter? Table for 1?

Babies, Babies and more Babies...... they are everywhere. Dawn has like 3 or 4 teachers at her job that are expecting and her sis in law (the one that tried for @5 years and finally had a baby last May through in-vitro) is expecting again in August, did I mention her son won't be 1 yr old till May (and this time no help needed, she wasn't even trying!!!) I am really trying to be happy for everyone, and I am, but there is this little layer of jealousy that just mixes in with the happiness and leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I don't know what is going on with me. Usually I am the one to turn to Dawn and be like "baby, be nice, be happy for them, we'll have our turn" Well, excuse me for the next few words but... Screw that shit... I am tired of all the smiles and comforting words we have to give out and I am done with baby showers and shopping for other people's babies. Now wait a minute... I know what some of you are gonna say... so if (I) we feel this way why don't we get off our asses and start the process already. The answer is because just because (I) we feel this way does not make me feel any better about the timing.

There are still a few things we have yet to work out - mainly my weight - I REALLLLLY have to lose weight and alot of it. Dawn is always telling me how beautiful I am and how much she loves me and she wants to support me in whatever I want to do etc etc etc but she is I have done a million and 1 diets and they have all worked for a little while but then the weight comes flying back on. I was never skinny (except for a torrid affair with anorexia from the ages of 12 - 14) but I was soooo much smaller when I had David. I am scared to even try to get pregnant at this size. (If we played guess my weight, you could never guess) But to be honest, it is a vicious cycle, the more depressed I get about my weight, the more weight I put on, I have tried little things but none work, I have even considered the Lap Band but when I mentioned it to my doctor, she made it quite clear she would not sign off on it. So a week from today I will throw myself back into the land of dieters and try my damndest to get myself into better shape. I hope that maybe if I feel better physically, mentally will follow and if not then at least I will be a thinner, healthier crazy person. LOL.