Monday, April 21, 2008

Taking it all off

...the weight that is...

I have never been a skinny Minnie except when I was like 14 yrs old and anorexic. (but that is a whole other thing and I would never want to be there again) but this is nuts. I am the heaviest I have ever been including when I was pregnant with David who was a fairly big baby measuring in at 8lbs 5oz, 20 1/2 inch long at 42 1/2 weeks. I gained over 60lbs with him just between the 5th month and delivery. Since then I have struggled with losing weight (although about 6 yrs ago I lost over 40) - It is a vicious cycle - For the most part I never look my weight so I just keep going but for the first time I looked in the mirror and saw every ounce looking back at me. Something has got to give.

So today is the first day of my diet. Dawn is gonna diet right along with me although she will be done ALOT sooner than I. She only has like 15 maybe 20lbs to lose. I won't tell you how much I need to lose because I don't even believe it when I hear it myself but let's just say I expect I am in this or the long haul and I am looking at at least a year before I am at least most of the way there. That's ok. I just want to lose as much as I can so that I am at a safer weight for next Summer when we try insemination for the first time. My health isn't bad but my weight is and there are a few issues that should be addressed before I try and carry a baby. Not to mention, I feel like shit lately. I am very depressed about how big I have gotten and disgusted with myslef for taking so long to address it. So I am gonna take it all off and then be able to put some back on a few months later when we get pregnant, safely and in a healthy way.

I am thinking positive thoughts all the way through to the end. In the meantime we will try to be patient and know that every pound I lose is one baby step forward.