Friday, June 29, 2007

Cruising with "R" Family



We are so excited... We are going on the 7/07/07 "r" family cruise. Just a little bit over a week left. When we booked this cruise back in April we were excited for many reasons. It was originally going to Bermuda which none of us had ever been to before... ummmm.... not any more thanks to the homophobic religious zealots of Bermuda that decided they were gonna protest if we came. OK so the most important reason for this cruise was for our boys to meet more families like ours. Another reason, we have not told them about us wanting to have another child.

My son, David, has a very mild form of tourettes (just facial and body tics, not audible) and it gets worse with stress. I won't get into the details, but his relationship with his dad has not been a healthy one. He has an almost 3 yr old sister from his dad who he loves very much but hardly sees. There have been a lot of stresses that have triggered his tics and most have involved his father in one way or the other but for the most part he does not adjust well to change. He is a child of habit and structure. There has been so much change in his life already but the one thing that has remained his constant has been me. We are very close and even though he is this big (5'2, 106lb, 11 1/2 yr old) tough kid who to everyone else acts as if he is going on 30, he is the same kid who will still hold my hand in public and kiss me in front of his friends. He is the football player all big and bad in his equipment who turns to me from the line and blows me a kiss before the game. He is the blackbelt (going on his 2nd) who has a Mariah Carey song on his cell phone because I used to sing it to him when he was a baby. He is the kid who roots for the underdog and helps those less fortunate. He is the defender of the weak and yet he probably needs more defending then the most. Funny how those who appear to be the strongest sometimes need the most help. Dawn would say that's me exactly. I am the one that gets all the phone calls for advice and help but the last one to ask for help myself... I hate it when she's right.

Anyway, even though Dawn and I have raised the boys together for all these years it was those first 3 before we met that made it seem like it was me and him against the world. Needless to say, Dawn and I are afraid he will not take it well. He loves kids and is wonderful with them but we both have this fear that something as big as another baby (especially one that I will carry) will be too much for him. Our biggest fear is the choices we would have to make about our journey if his mental health is at risk because of it. We have decided to tell them about 3 months before we first inseminate. I figure it will give us enough time to let him try and adjust and just in case things change we won't have told him for nothing. Ryan on the other hand appears to be so small and fragile next to David but he is easy going and easily adapts to change. His only requirement for happiness is just being. He has no siblings and a really good relationship with his dad. Ryan has been lucky. We think he will be fine.

So anyway, we hope that will all the different types of families on board the boys, especially David, will find comfort in everyone's differences and the fact that families really do come in all different shapes, sizes and colors. So while this vacation will be welcome as just as vacation, it can actually turn out to be life changing for us. So here is hoping that everything we have heard about this cruise is true and more.

6 comments:

K J and the kids said...

Welcome to blog land.
You have a beautiful family.
Good luck with your future plans to extend your family.

ajs4ever said...

I enjoyed learning about you and your beautiful family! I hope your cruise goes extrememly well for all of you! I would love to go on one someday! Come by and visit our blog if you like...
thebabybug.blogspot.com

Before you know it you will be addicted to blogging like me:)

Amber

SJayneI said...

Hello!! Welcome to BlogLand!! Good luck with the baby makin' and hang on tight; it's a wild ride. :)

Dis said...

What a beautiful family!
I hope things go easy for your boy. Maybe once he gets into the routine of the ship he will feel more comfortable?

Wendy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hotomiky said...

Welcome!! Beautiful Family!!

Will be meeting you at the cruise this coming Saturday!!!!