are you serious?!?!? really?!?!?

SO... WE ARE ON HOLD FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS. THEY FOUND SOME NODULES IN MY LUNGS AND "RESIDUAL THYMIC TISSUE". EVEN THOUGH MY PULMONOLOGIST ASSURES ME THAT THE NODULES WILL PROBABLY BE NOTHING, PROTOCOL IS TO FOLLOW UP WITH CT SCAN MONITORING EVERY 3 MONTHS FOR 2 YEARS. WHEN HE TOLD ME THAT I FREAKED OUT AND STARTED CRYING. I EXPLAINED FERTILITY WISE, I DON'T HAVE 2 YEARS. IT TURNS OUT HE AND HIS FIANCE ARE GOING TO THE SAME FERTILITY PLACE AS US SO HE UNDERSTOOD. HE MADE ME PROMISE TO GET THE NEXT SCAN IN 3 MONTHS AND THEN SAID IF AT THAT POINT THERE WAS NO CHANGE INT HE NODULES HE WOULD BE WILLING TO "BITE THE BULLET" AND WRITE TO MY RE INFORMING HER THAT IN HIS OPINION THE NODULES POSE NO THREAT AND I COULD CONTINUE TREATMENT. HOWEVER, IF THERE ARE ANY CHANGES, I WOULD HAVE TO TABLE FERTILITY TREATMENT TO HANDLE THOSE ISSUES. HE SAID THE THYMIC ISSUE ISN'T A BIG DEAL GENERALLY. IT IS MORE COMMON THAN NOT AND WOULD PROBABLY NEED NO TREATMENT. HE SAID HE WAS GONNA LOOK AT MY FILMS JUST TO BE SURE HIMSELF AND WOULD CALL ME IF THERE WAS AN ISSUE. I THINK THIS IS AN OK DEAL. I COULD DO 3 MONTHS. I AM NOT EVEN GONNA THING ABOUT 2 YEARS... SO EVEN THOUGH I WAS DISAPPOINTED I WAS OK WITH MY VISIT... UNTIL A FEW DAYS LATER. HE CALLED ME FROM THE IMAGING PLACE TO TELL ME THAT AFTER LOOKING AT MY FILMS THE THYMIC TISSUE MAY BE A PROBLEM AND NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT WITH A PET SCAN. SO RADIATION ANYONE? YOU KNOW WHAT BURNS MY ASS? THE LAST THING THAT HE SAID TO ME IN HIS OFFICE WAS THAT I AM A HEALTHY WOMAN. I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE THESE LITTLE "HARMLESS ANOMALIES" THAT UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO BE FOLLOWED UP ON BY A PHYSICIAN ONCE THEY ARE DETECTED EVEN THOUGH THEY MEAN NOTHING. WTF?!?!? SO I AM HEALTHY BUT HAVE SPENT THE LAST I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG IN AND OUT OF DOCTORS FOR NO FREAKING REASON? AND I AM GONNA HAVE TO KEEP GOING JUST IN CASE? OH YEAH AND IF THE DAMN DOCTORS DIDN'T KEEP SENDING ME TO ONE ANOTHER THESE LITTLE THING WOULD GO UNNOTICED AND I COULD GO ON WITH MY FREAKING PLANS? SO BASICALLY BECAUSE EVERY DOCTOR DESPERATELY WANTS TO COVER THEIR OWN ASS "JUST IN CASE" I GET TO PUT MY FERTILITY ISSUES ON THE BACK BURNER WHILE I WATCH MY CLOCK COUNT DOWN? HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOW OVARIAN RESERVE PEOPLE... NO TIME TO WASTE. SO I AM GONNA SIT ON MY ASS AND DO NOTHING FOR THE NEXT 3 FUCKING MONTHS AS FAR AS BABY PLANS GO. I FEEL LIKE I AM LOSING A FIGHT THAT HASN'T EVEN BEGUN.