update...sorta

SO THE LATEST WORD IS... NOTHING. THIS IS ACTUALLY A GOOD THING. ON MONDAY I DECIDED TO CALL (WE DON'T)CARECORE TO CHECK ON MY PET SCAN APPROVAL. I WAS TOLD IT WAS DENIED. THIS WAS NOT A BIG SURPRISE AS THEY LOVE TO DENY THINGS TO THEN APPROVE IT AFTER YOUR DOCTOR APPEALS. THEY TOLD ME THEY FAXED THE DENIAL TO THE DOC ON FRIDAY AND SINCE I KNOW THEY ARE NOT IN TILL TUESDAY I FIGURED I WOULD HEAR FROM THEM SOON. NOT 30 SECONDS AFTER I HUNG UP WITH THEM, I GOT A CALL FROM MY PULMONOLOGIST'S RECEPTIONIST SAYING THAT I WAS TO GET INTO HIS OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. I ASKED HER IF IT WAS ABOUT THE DENIAL AND SHE HAD NO CLUE WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. SHE WOULDN'T /COULDN'T TELL ME WHAT WAS SO URGENT BUT REITERATED THAT IT WAS IMPERATIVE I GET TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. CUE THE IMPENDING DOOM MUSIC. LET ME JUST SAY I SPENT THE NEXT DAY FEELING AS IF I WERE GONNA BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL FOR EMERGENCY SURGERY. I WAS SURE THEY SAW SOMETHING THEY MISSED BEFORE AND THAT MY NUMBER WAS UP. DRAMATIC? MAYBE... BUT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE THINKING THIS. HOWEVER MY OLD FRIEND (TAKE IT HOW YOU WANT TO "T", YOU ARE OLDER) WHO IS A NURSE TOLD ME THAT MAYBE IT WAS TO TELL ME HE WAS WRONG AND I DIDN'T NEED THE TEST. I LAUGHED BECAUSE WTF KIND OF CRAZY SHIT IS THAT?!?!? IT IS A GOOD THING SHE IS A PEDIATRIC NURSE BECAUSE ONLY KIDS COULD BELIEVE THAT KINDA CRAP. ANYWAY, I WAS STILL GRATEFUL FOR THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS BECAUSE I WAS GETTING DOOMSDAY VIBES FROM EVERYONE ELSE (EVEN MY WIFE WAS GIVING OFF A FEAR I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE ALTHOUGH SHE WAS THE PICTURE OF STRENGTH ON THE OUTSIDE) ANYWAY, I SPENT MOST OF TUESDAY CRYING, PRAYING, CURSING, CRYING, PRAYING, CURSING ETC... WE GET THERE AN HOUR EARLY (B/C WHO THE HELL KNOWS HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT, RIGHT?) WE WAIT, I GO IN... NOTHING!!!! HOLY SHIT "T" WAS RIGHT (ONCE IN 26 YEARS. LOL) HE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME THAT THE PET SCAN WAS DENIED (WTF!!!! DIDN'T I ASK ABOUT THIS?!?!?) AND TO TELL ME WHY IT WAS DENIED AND THAT IF HE FELT THAT THERE WAS EVEN A 1% CHANCE THAT THIS WAS THE THYMIC CANCER HE WANTED TO RULE OUT WE WOULD FIGHT IT, BUT THAT HE DOESN'T, SO WE WON'T INSTEAD WE WILL JUST FOLLOW UP WITH A CT SCAN IN MAY... (UMMMM... WASN'T THIS THE FUCKING PLAN ALREADY DOCTOR???) HE DOES FOLLOW UP WITH HE STILL THINKS IT DOES NOT LOOK "KOSHER" BUT THAT HE ISN'T TOO WORRIED? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IF YOU WEREN'T WORRIED WHY ORDER THE TEST WHEN WE WERE GONNA HAVE THE CT ANYWAY? I ASKED HIM IF I SHOULD PULL TOGETHER THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR THE DAMN PET SCAN ANYWAY, BECAUSE IF I SHOULD HAVE IT THEN INSURANCE BE DAMNED I AM GONNA HAVE IT.... HE SAYS NO AND GIVES ME THE WHOLE 1% SPEECH AGAIN.

NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG... I AM THRILLED THAT I WAS NOT TOLD SOMETHING HORRIBLE WHEN I WENT IN THERE BECAUSE I WAS CONVINCED I WAS DYING. BUT I AM STILL FEELING UNNERVED ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING. WOULDN'T YOU?