I AM USUALLY ANGRY OR SAD OR STRESSED OR WHAT NOT... I DON'T USUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF. YUP... I'M TAKING THE LOW ROAD TODAY. ANOTHER FRIEND HAD A BABY. I AM HAPPY FOR HER. SHE IS A LIL OLDER THAN ME HAS BEEN WITH HER HUSBAND FOR OVER 20YRS AND THEY FINALLY HAVE THEIR BABY. A WHOLE LOT OF TRYING BUT NO MEDICAL INTERVENTION AT ALL. I AM ACTUALLY THRILLED FOR HER. SHE IS A GREAT PERSON AND IS GONNA BE AN AWESOME MOM BUT NOW I AM FEELING BAD FOR MYSELF. ANOTHER FRIEND WHO IS A FEW YEARS OLDER AND ONLY MARRIED A YEAR JUST ANNOUNCED SHE IS SIX MONTHS PREGNANT!!! ONE MORE AND I MAY LOSE MY MIND ... OH YEAH AND MY SISTER IS DUE IN 5 WEEKS (ALTHOUGH I AM SURE SHE WILL GO SOONER) I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW I AM GONNA SURVIVE THAT. I JUST WANNA PACK A BAG AND RUN AWAY.
I KNOW WE HAVE TWO AMAZING KIDS (ALMOST MEN) BUT I CAN'T HELP IT... I AM FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. I AM FEELING LIKE I AM WATCHING THE WHOLE WORLD GET PREGNANT AND HAVE BABIES WHILE I SIT ON THE SIDE LINES. I DON'T EVEN THINK THAT MAKES SENSE OR IS EVEN FAIR FOR ME TO SAY SINCE I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT AND BLESSED WITH MY SON AND THEN BLESSED AGAIN WITH MY STEPSON WHEN HE WAS JUST 2 YRS OLD. I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT GO AWAY. ALL THE BULLSHIT ABOUT MY AGE (36) AND A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS ALL SAME AGE OR OLDER HAVE HAD BABIES IN THE LAST 2 YRS. SOME THEIR FIRST, SOME SECOND, SOME EVEN THIRD. I AM TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MY WEIGHT... SOME WERE BIG GIRLS LIKE ME SOME A LIL BIGGER, ONLY ONE WAS "PERFECT SIZE" "PERFECTLY IN SHAPE" PERFECTLY HEALTHY" BLAH BLAH BLAH...
SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL? AND YEAH... I AM GONNA SAY IT... WHY ME? WHY YOU? WHY ANY OF US? MAYBE ITS THE WHOLE CD2 OF FET#3 THING THAT HAS ME FEELING EXTRA NUTS TODAY. I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THOSE ABBREVIATIONS ARE LET ALONE HAVE TO USE THEM IN A SENTENCE...NOBODY SHOULD.
I DON'T WISH THIS CRAP ON ANYONE...BUT WHY THE HELL AM I STARING AT A PICTURE OF SNOOKI'S BABY ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE WHEN FOR HOW MANY SEASONS HAVE I BEEN WATCHING THAT GIRL DRINK HERSELF TO OBLIVION, FALL INTO BUSHES, GET ARRESTED, SLEEP WITH WHOEVER, FLASH HER HOOHA ALL OVER THE PLACE AND SPEAK INCOHERENTLY EVEN WHILE SOBER???? FRIGGIN SNOOKI?!?!?
(SHAKING MY FISTS AT THE SKY WHILE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS) WHAT THE FUCK UNIVERSE??? ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?????
OK. I AM DONE. HOPE YOUR DAY IS BETTER THAN MINE.
**UPDATED AS OF 9/27/12 - 3 MORE PREGNANT FRIENDS ALL THE SAME AGE OR OLDER THAN ME. THIS SHIT IS GETTING OLD AS HELL. BITTER? YUP. SAD ABOUT BEING BITTER? DOUBLE YUP. HOPING TO GET OUT OF THIS FUNK AND START FEELING HAPPY? THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH YUPS IN THE WORLD. FOR THE RECORD... I AM HAPPY FOR ALL OF THESE PEOPLE AND ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE SUCCESS...I'M JUST SAD FOR ME AND ALL OF THOSE WHO DON'T.
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