I AM DEPRESSED. I FEEL LIKE THE SLIGHTEST LITTLE THING IS GONNA SHATTER ME INTO A THOUSAND PIECES. I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE UP BUT IT IS SO HARD TO GO ON. I AM TIRED OF BEING POKED AND PRODDED AND HAVING SOME STRANGER WITH A WAND ( BTW...IF IT IS CALLED A WAND THEN IT SHOULD COME WITH SOME FUCKING MAGIC DON'T YA THINK??) ALL UP IN MY HOOHA. WE WENT IN FOR MY SONO AND CONSULT. THEY DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG BUT TUESDAY I AM HAVING A HYSTEROSCOPY AND D&C. SUPPOSEDLY THIS IS TO CHECK THINGS OUT THEN DO ANY CLEAN UP IF NEED BE - IF NO NEED BE THEN IT WILL BE A SPRUCING UP OF SORTS. ACCORDING TO THEM THIS WILL INCREASE MY CHANCES AT THE NEXT FET FROM 30-60% TO 50-60%. WHATEVER. HE ALSO SAID THAT MOST CASES THEY LIKE TO PUT THE EMBRYO IN AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE SOME MAY STOP GROWING IF YOU WAIT THEM OUT...I KNEW THAT...BUT THAT HE BELIEVES THAT THE BLASTS ARE BETTER...I KNEW THAT TOO (AND WE NOW HAVE 4 BLASTS LEFT). SO RIDDLE ME THIS BATMAN...WHY THE HELL DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL US THEY WERE PUTTING IN A 4 DAY MORULA VS. A BLAST UNTIL A DAY AND A HALF AFTER THE TRANSFER??? SHOULDN'T WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE CHOICE TO RIDE IT OUT? NOW WE HAVE THROWN AWAY ANOTHER $1200 AND POCKETED ANOTHER FAILURE WHEN ANOTHER DAY COULD HAVE MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. I AM JUST COMPLETELY FRUSTRATED AND EXHAUSTED. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW. I WISH I COULD JUST SHUT OFF FOR AWHILE. ANYWAY, IT IS GOING TO BE A BUSY FEW DAYS. I WILL UPDATE TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY. I HOPE EVERYONE OUT THERE IS FAIRING BETTER.
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