NOT SURE WHY (SINCE NOT MUCH IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW) BUT I AM FEELING NUMB. I GUESS NUMB IS THE ABSENCE OF FEELING BUT IT SEEMS TO BE A FEELING ALL UNTO ITSELF. I DON'T THINK I HAVE QUITE BOUNCED BACK FROM OUR LAST FAILED TRANSFER. ALL THE BULLSHIT BUMPS IN THE ROAD SINCE THEN DEFINITELY HAVEN'T HELPED A BIT.
WE ARE HEADING BACK TO N*EW HO*PE FER*TIL*ITY CE*NT*ER ON OCTOBER 8 (MY DARLING WIFE'S BIRTHDAY). SO, I SHOULD BE GETTING EXCITED, NERVOUS, ANXIOUS...SOMETHING. YET, I FEEL NOTHING. I FEEL ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. WELL, MAYBE TIRED. YEAH...TIRED. OTHER THAN TIRED, NOTHING.I AM NOT SURE WHAT IF ANYTHING TO MAKE OF THIS. ON ONE HAND, ITS GOOD THAT I AM NOT STRESSED OR SAD. ON THE OTHER, ITS PROBABLY NOT SO GOOD THAT I AM SO...DETACHED. MAYBE IT IS MY MIND AND/OR MY HEART TRYING TO PROTECT ME FROM THE PROVERBIAL STRAW/CAMEL SITUATION. MAYBE SOMETHING BROKE ALONG THE WAY THAT IS TAKING A REALLY LONG TIME TO HEAL.
WHATEVER THE CASE...ONWARD WE MARCH INTO ANOTHER (AND DARE I SAY, HOPEFULLY LAST NEEDED) FET CYCLE.
1 comment:
I hope you start feeling better soon, and that you'll have a wonderful time with your wife on your getaway. Hugs to you!!
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